Things I've Never Seen In A Titty Bar...

I was once what you'd call a 'regular'. I would walk in and four or five girls would yell out my name, just like Norm on Cheers. Pretty pathetic, I know, but I was going through a terrible time in my life and the bar time really helped me cope. One of the side effects of all this exposure, however, was that after a year or two, I became bored with the normal action and wanted something more entertaining. I started offering girls twenty bucks to do crazy things; I called this game "Things I've never seen at a titty bar." The girls loved the game, and several would sit with me at once and we would send one out on a 'mission' while the rest of us watched and laughed.

One night a girl put a cue ball in her G-string, she had a cover-up that hid her bulge. For twenty bucks she did a table dance for an older guy and when the song hit its peak, she threw open the cover and shook her 'junk' right in his face. He looked like he might have a heart attack. His look of digust was priceless, and also the way he squirmed back against the mirrors, recoiling in horror. Once she took out the cue ball, he thought it was funny as hell too, and he gave her double for the dance. That was pretty good, but the best was later that night.

The girl had to sit with down with a guy she had arranged to do a table dance for. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she had a 6 inch piece of toilet paper dangling from her G-string. The deal was that no matter how much he tried to tell her about it, she had to pretend she didn't hear him, and dance with her ass in his face the majority of the time. Now that was fuckin hysterical.

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Attack of the Stripper

Back a few years ago I went down to Florida with a "Bud Light" buddy of mine for a tour of strip clubs. He had told me about the world famous "Mons Venus" down in Tampa and I had read some reviews of the place and thought this might be a pretty hot place compared to the clubs here in NC. My bud and I had played a round of golf that morning and decided to hit "Mons Venus" for a refreshing cold beverage after our morning on the links. We drive up in the parking lot of this place and there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot, but it was only the afternoon. There were four or five of the entertainers hanging out on a bench next to the entrance to the club. They met us before we got to the sidewalk and walked us inside.
Once inside, they showed us to a table which was sort of a round booth. During the day there was no DJ so the girls asked us for some money for the juke box. Instead of dancing on stage, they basically just started doing a table dance for us. The girl that started dancing for me just got completely naked and immediately started grinding on my leg. Before I could really say hello, she was telling me to bite her nipples! I was like "damn, I've never had a dance like this back home in NC". I asked her what the rules were and she just said "baby you can touch anywhere but here" as she put her hand between her legs, she said "and I'll take care of this!" She started basically fingering herself right there. Now remember, this was a table dance! Well I just happened to be wearing shorts, after playing a round of golf in sunny Florida, the girl that was "dancing" for me, started rubbing her wet pussy all over my legs.....does the term "snail trail" mean anything to you? I'm sorry if some folks think I'm crazy, but I felt like I needed a full body condom and a hot shower with antibacterial soap...."do I know you?" I can't remember how much the dance was, like $25 or something per song, but it just wasn't my idea of a good time. I have been frequenting strip clubs since 1989, and that was the craziest thing that ever happened to me. I prefer to stay here at home at my favorite club with my favorite entertainer, Dirty D.

"Big D"
Knocked out with a 90HHH

Years ago I went to the Silver Fox Lounge in Winston-Salem, which is now under a different club name, to see a traveling feature dancer by the name of Busty Dusty. Dusty's claim to fame are her huge assets measuring 90HHH. Way back in the day, the Silver Fox was only a one level club located on the bottom floor of the building there on Peters Creek Parkway. The stage was only about 6 to 12 inches off of the floor, so you were almost eye to eye with most entertainers when you stood at the stage to tip. Busty Dusty had a very energetic stage show which was great with those massive mammaries swinging around. She was a very friendly person and truly enjoys what she does. I went to the stage to tip her during her first song, and she was really nice and basically smothered my face down in between her "twins". On the second or third song of her set, I went up to tip her at the very end of the runway part of the stage. She told me to turn around and sit down on the edge of the stage facing the crowd. So I am sitting there with her standing behind me, she told me to "look up" and when I did all I could see is the underside of this huge tit! About that time she drops her tit, which had to weigh 10 pounds or more, smacking me right in the face! I think I received a mild concussion, well but seriously that was one heavy tit! If you ever get a chance to see Busty Dusty in person please do so. She is a great lady that gives true meaning to the term "feature entertainer".

Big D